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and then the fight started

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  • and then the fight started

    When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive....

    So, I took her to a gas station.....

    And then the fight started....

    ************************************************** ***********************************************

    My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

    "No," she answered.

    I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

    She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."

    So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

    And then the fight started....

    ************************************************** ************************************************** *

    After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt." So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me.." And she processed my Social Security application.

    When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten Disability, too."

    And then the fight started.....

    ***** ************************************************** **************************************************

    Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

    My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

    And then the fight started ...

    ************************************************** ************************************************** *****

    My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, "Do you know her?"

    "Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

    "My God!" says my wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

    And then the fight started......

    ************************************************** ************************************************** *****
    I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get so stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!!

    He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"

    So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"

    And then the fight started.....

    ************************************************** ************************************************** ***

    I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

    He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

    "Nah, she can order for herself."

    And then the fight started.....

    ************************************************** ************************************************** ***

    A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel
    horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."

    The husband replies, "Your eyesight's darn near perfect."

    And then the fight started.....
    1988 323 GTX--- The toy now :D
    2008 Mazdaspeed 3::SOLD ----- 1991 BRG NA8 Swap, Turbo::SOLD

  • #2
    sometimes you just gotta set women straight...and nothing works better than a firm open hand slap
    MS2, VVT, 650cc, Spec S3, MMR, 6 speed, 4.30, AEM , ARP, ... one day ill get a real turbo

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    • #3
      Those are awesome. I laughed out loud at a couple of them.
      2012 Acura TSX Sportwagon
      2001 NB track car that never gets driven

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Sawyer View Post
        Those are awesome. I laughed out loud at a couple of them.
        That either says a lot about you or a lot about the jokes... not sure yet :lol:
        1988 323 GTX--- The toy now :D
        2008 Mazdaspeed 3::SOLD ----- 1991 BRG NA8 Swap, Turbo::SOLD

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        • #5
          :lol: Those are hilarious!

          Originally posted by miata5620
          Eric's Garage ... You buy all the parts I tell you to and you will have a killer car... If you want other parts used your car will suck and it will cost you more...

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          • #6
            I always lol @ these, my fav.:

            I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

            He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

            "Nah, she can order for herself."

            And then the fight started.....

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            • #7
              Thanks for the laugh
              DIYAutoTune.com

              | 10AE-T | BEGi S4 | GT2560r | Enthuza | 6UL | MS3Pro PNP|
              | 2001 Track Rat | Enthuza | Jenvey | MS3Pro PNP | Exocet in Progress|
              | 1992 323 | Wrong-wheel-drive Miata Endurance Racecar|

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              • #8
                gigle gigle
                01 Mica Green, Enthuza muffler, Rota wheels, TEIN springs, RB sways, Big assed stripe that adds 20hp

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                • #9
                  LOL at first I thought it was a real story!

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                  • #10
                    haha
                    Merlot 1991 with 328whp/355wtq LS1/T56, Ford 8.8 with 3.55 gears mounted with RacingConcepts.net kit. www.swaptastic.net

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